AJC's journal

Confucius say: "Man who stands on toilet to pee is high on pot."

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A Pledge
My fellow Americans,

As you may or may not know, there is a proposal making its way through the legislature that, if passed, would pay citizens to spend money. Under this plan, an individual taxpayer will get approximately $600 with the understanding that they spend it not on existing debts or new investments, but on goods and services in order to stimulate the domestic economy.

I could buy a lot of great stuff for $600. A fancy MP3 player, half of a shiny new laptop... I could finally upgrade my 15 year old pro logic receiver (and get some real speakers for it to boot). But then I got to thinking: if I'm being given a small windfall to spend with the specific purpose of helping prop up my fellow citizens' financial outlook, what would be best way to do it?

I imagine it would involve keeping much of the money (if not all of it) domestic so it had the opportunity to recirculate. Additionally I would rather it support a small business than a large one to minimize the likelihood of waste in corporate bureaucracy (a pet peeve of mine). Sadly this rules out 99% of consumer electronics. I had to think smaller.

The service industry came to mind. Buying a year's worth of maid services or car washes would fit the bill so long as the businesses employ legal workers. There's a locally owned gym nearby that offers month-to-month memberships - that would make a lot of sense for me if I didn't loathe working out. If thrill-seeking were my goal I could go skydiving three times and still have cash left over for a terrific dinner.

But I have a better idea.

If the House, Senate and President of the United States enact this economic stimulus plan and I receive a rebate, I hereby pledge to use my rebate, in its entirety, to find a single independently-owned distillery within the United States from whom I will purchase as much locally-distilled whiskey (of satisfactory merit) as possible and distribute the bulk of these spoils to friends and colleagues.

It is my belief that these actions represent the best I can do for my countrymen and their financial well-being and heartily encourage my fellow citizens to act with the same selfless regard for their economy and sobriety.

Thank you, America. Be safe out there.

(Deleted comment)
I thank you for your support.

Crap, there's the understanding that we have to spend it on new things and not on old debts? There goes my plan of paying off credit card debt.

I'm sure lots of filthy traitors will be spending it on old debts and imported copies of Chairman Mao's little red book. I'm not stopping you.

I admire your plan.
Recently I was given a bottle of Templeton Rye which is sold on the gimmick of being a prohibition-era recipe. It is however, made in Iowa, and quite good.

I'm more of a bourbon fan, but that's an interesting idea.

Pa1 speaks....


2008-01-25 05:16 pm (UTC)

Is Lynchburg, Tenn. local enough? "Jack Daniels", would be more than glad to do their part to support your efforts.

I did consider that, though a bit of research revealed that Jack Daniels is a child brand of the Brown-Forman Corporation which goes against my big-company stipulation.

Kentucky and Tennessee are big places - I imagine there's at least one individually owned boutique distiller in there somewhere.

maybe you should use the money to start your own moonshine still.

A gift that keeps on giving indeed.

You? A Moonshiner?


2008-05-20 02:30 pm (UTC)

I can't feature you in bib overalls and barefooted. Remember all those allergens out in the deep woods? But I guess after enough samples for quality control purposes you wouldn't give a hoot anyway.



2008-01-28 02:27 pm (UTC)

Nastyboots has "hit the big one". I can see it now "AJC's Old XXX". Which begs the question....What container could be used for bottling that could withstand rapid decomposition in order for the product to actually reach the "OLD" stage? I could say "rubber" but that would lead to marketing suicide. Who would drink from something called a "rubber" container anyway?

What an outstanding idea! May I humbly recommend George Dickel Barrel Select. Made in Tennessee, it's one of the finest Whiskeys I've ever tried. The charcoal used in filtering is made on site by burning locally grown Sugar Maples. Even the barrels used for aging are American White Oak.


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